Changing Tide -

Well, I've gotten my house in order, (thanks, in part, to my sweet hubby) so I've got a moment or two to update about yesterday's doctor's appointment! Ryan's Aunt Denise, Uncle Ed, and their kids, will be here around lunchtime, which will be great. :) They live up in Ohio, so we don't see them all that often.

So, yesterday morning I had my 38 week doctor's appointment, which went very well. I was more than a little anxious to see if I'd made any progress, in spite of the fact that I really haven't had that many contractions this past week. Apparently, I'm still 1 cm dilated, "but you've really thinned out," she told me. "Which is really great, especially since this is your first pregnancy." Her prediction is that I could deliver next weekend!! How great would that be? :) "Well, I'll see you next week," she told me, "if you make it till then." Now those are wonderful words to hear, let me tell ya.

I've kinda gotten to the point where I dread going to sleep at night. I can eventually get comfortable, but I've found myself waking up recently from rib pain. I swear, this little girl must be pretty long. She'll stretch her legs out, and keep them there, either up against my rib cage, or up under them. Ouch. So, I wind up changing positions every couple of hours until she does it again! :)

I'm sorry all I ever talk about is the pregnancy, but I'm really getting down to the wire here! It's pretty much all I think about these days. Of course, the fact that I'm indulging in A Baby Story, Birth Day, Special Delivery, Bringing Home Baby, and Runway Moms probably doesn't help. I'm just ready to see MY baby, at long last.

Recently I've really wondered how our kids will remember the atmosphere of our home while they grow up. I had a fantastic childhood, and when I think about "my home" growing up, (which was in two different homes, mainly) I remember warmth, energy, love, and just how it was always full of life. I think this was mainly because that embodied who my Mom is, which really makes it hit home what kind of responsibility I have! I read a book called Heaven at Home by Ginger Plowman, which was specifically written about this very thing. (good book, I might add) Of course dads play a huge role in family life, as my Dad did, and as Ryan will, and I don't want to downplay that at all. Thing is, especially since I'll be at home with our kids as they grow up, I know I'll be a pretty big part of the equation. A great deal of the atmosphere of a home is created by the mother. I guess I just want to be the best mom that I can be, and I want our kids to have the same warm memories of their childhood that I have of mine.

Which THEN brings me to where I wonder how raising kids will change our marriage. I know they always tell you that kids change your marital relationship in good ways, but I guess since I haven't experienced it yet, I don't know what those changes will look like yet. I don't want to be one of those women who makes their life ALL about their kids. I don't want to wake up next to Ryan years down the road, after our kids have gone off to college, wondering who this person is beside me. I think it's important that there is a strong foundation, which is the relationship that Ryan and I have, (first and foremost built on the relationship and faith we have in God) which makes children feel secure, and shows them the perfect picture of how marriage should be. Before we got pregnant, I remember thinking, selfishly, how I just wanted to have "us" time for a while before adding in kids. I wanted all of Ryan's attention, and I wanted us to be able to do things together, just the two of us. I'm glad we waited for a year, and I'm glad we didn't wait longer... I am just curious to see how things will change, and how we will grow together. I don't want us to stop growing as husband and wife simply because we'll also be mommy & daddy.

Wow, have I rambled on enough already? :)

Anyway, just wanted to send out a little update on how everything is going here. Hope you all have a GREAT weekend!

¶ 9:59 AM